tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-113991612009-10-13T14:24:20.816-04:00How to avoid stepping in the big pile of crap that is the dating life, or, failing that, how to do the least damage to yourself and others in your quest for Mr. or Ms. RightKen Wheatonnoreply@blogger.comBlogger105125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-22387462448896374592008-11-07T12:01:00.002-05:002008-11-07T12:11:46.596-05:00

Some fun facts about Rahm Emanuel:1. He's the first chief of staff to have nine fingers.*2. He was a former ballet dancer.*3. He shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.4. Can eat 50 hard-boiled eggs in one sitting.5. In the 70s, he did tons of porn. (submitted by a colleague) 6. His porn name was Ram Manual. (submitted by another colleague)7. His middle name is Sue. (submitted by yet another

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-53372999404768118402008-10-24T19:54:00.002-04:002008-10-24T19:59:27.757-04:00

Today, I just signed the official contract for my first novel with the good folks at Kensington Books. For those of you who've known me awhile, this is NOT the big ol' Jesus novel. Rather, this one's about a Louisiana priest. And before you scream "Leave the church alone," rest assured that no altar boys were molested during the plot of this novel. In essence, it's a light-hearted comedy with a

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-40106408600756344472008-01-03T21:26:00.001-05:002008-04-08T19:56:57.166-04:00

I'll dispense with the suspense immediately. Memphis barbecue was a disappointment. And though I haven't completed my tour of American 'cue regions, Texas is still the clear leader. For anyone who knows me and my predilection for pork and pork-based products, it may come as a shock to hear me chucking in with the beef crowd, but such is life.The fact of the matter is pork predominates in cue

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-57060128036620726662007-08-24T19:41:00.000-04:002007-08-24T19:42:03.704-04:00

Me in the mornings

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-36912154386648464572007-08-13T15:30:00.000-04:002007-08-13T15:33:39.868-04:00

You've heard of LOLcats and Cute Overload (right? I mean LOLCats totally rock) ... now there's Momo. Go. Read. Submit your own photos and captions.

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-45436162000036460992007-06-25T14:46:00.000-04:002007-06-25T14:55:35.516-04:00

Read this book! It's called the Landsman, and it was written by my good friend Peter Melman. Set during the Civil War and in New Orleans and various battlefields, it follows young Elias Abrams.Since I usually suck at describing books, I'll let Publishers Weekly help me out: 'A barely literate hard-bitten gambler and petty criminal, Elias Abrams, the 20-year-old cardsharp hero of Melman's solid

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-71355692813743602952007-06-18T12:54:00.000-04:002007-06-18T12:57:06.039-04:00

Please go to this poll and vote for Homesick Texan. It's a food blogger type thing. You like food don't you. And she's the only person in this area who I wouldn't go head-to-head with in a chili competition -- because I don't like losing and she'd kill me. Anyway, go vote for her. You can win a trip for two for yourself as well! If you're the sort who HAS to see the blog before voting, here it is.

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-38535395348503101902007-05-30T14:13:00.001-04:002007-05-30T14:15:50.996-04:00

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-46827039263013984122007-01-17T14:30:00.000-05:002007-01-19T12:33:39.723-05:00

UPDATE... I had my links messed up below. It's now since been fixed. The daily dose of insanity can be found here. I've got nothing to say. Really. I'm too busy pursuing other interests that MIGHT get me paid or some such. That, and it's football season. That and Giada has a new travel show, which a) has her walking on a Miami beach in a bikini top and glistening with salt spray from a jet-ski

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1163694471346904022006-11-16T11:19:00.000-05:002006-11-16T11:35:39.550-05:00

It's not often that I run press releases here and I think the only time I ever hit yall up for money was after Katrina, but I'm going to post this here. Adrienne Shelly was killed earlier this month. I'll just say that Adrienne was a friend of Susan's and came through for Susan in a big way when Susan needed an apartment a few years back. Judging by how heart-breaking the memorial service was,

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1163172862199674312006-11-10T10:27:00.000-05:002006-11-10T10:34:22.223-05:00

Okay chucklemonkeys, I'll be reading from The Subway Chronicles on Monday, Nov. 13 at the Barnes & Noble on Court Street in Brooklyn Heights. If you live in New York, you have no excuse! The 2, 3, 4, 5, R and F trains all pull up in that vicinity. A blind, no-legged dog could find this place and get there in under five minutes.Also reading will be Tim McLoughlin, editor of the Brooklyn Noir

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1162934637531333552006-11-07T16:13:00.000-05:002006-11-07T16:25:29.483-05:00

So some of you, it seems, want a little more out of Match.com than the standard two subpar dates leading to the slightly awkward sex on the third date and then never hearing from the person again. Some of you were shocked when you clicked on the PLAY box on Nerve.com and received emails from every perv in a three-state region. And Craiglist? Well, if you're looking for dates on Craigslist, you

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1162439986864411932006-11-01T22:15:00.000-05:002006-11-01T22:59:46.943-05:00

Hello, my little chowderheads. In the immortal words of Jim Anchower, it's been a while since I rapped at ya, but here I am, clattering away at my keyboard and trying to sit straight up to compensate for a herniated disc. This getting old thing is crap, if you ask me. Crap in a bucket. At any rate, I recently received an email from a reader, so why don't we jump right in.Hey, Kenny. Today a

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1161962123880006442006-10-27T11:13:00.000-04:002006-10-27T11:15:23.916-04:00

Firstly, I want to let you kiddies know that I received an email plea for my expert dating advice. So you have that to look forward to next week at some point (of course, by then, my little dater in need may have moved on, but such is life). In the meantime, check out Susan's post about dating people with no money.

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1161702045394969382006-10-24T10:59:00.000-04:002006-10-24T11:01:00.270-04:00

Boy, if I was the bitter sort, I'd gripe about the New York Post running an article called Your Lays Are Numbered, that included some of the most painfully obvious "news" ever printed -- and did so without making me laugh even once. But I'm not the bitter sort. Nope.

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1161012461776903502006-10-16T11:18:00.000-04:002006-10-16T11:27:41.796-04:00

The last time I involved myself in a cooking challenge, I had to bring some smackdown on New Yorkers who thought they knew their way around a pot of chili. Suckers. At any rate, I think I may have found a new challenge.Speaking of chili, Homesick Texan is spilling the beans sharing her chili recipe this week (real Texas Red doesn't use beans). Why should you care? Because hers is the only chili I

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1160173408632611152006-10-06T18:18:00.000-04:002006-10-06T18:23:28.776-04:00

Back from Peru. Here's my account of the trip in fewer words than there are types of potatoes in Peru.If you're too lazy to read, you can view all 268 photos here.Interested in food? Read Susan's Piehole play by play here (scroll down to Monday Oct. 2 and start from there).Enjoy!

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1158981628931825282006-09-22T23:18:00.000-04:002006-09-22T23:20:28.953-04:00

Okay, so I'm still in Brooklyn as I write this, but Susan and I are heading out to Peru tomorrow. Sample a little roast guinea pig. Check out what all this Machu Pichu foolishness is about. See if maybe I can find that Cornholio dude on the shores of Lake Titicaca (bringing an extra roll of TP just in case).Enjoy your week sitting in an office and wondering if your life has any purpose.Suckahs!

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1158348072091421702006-09-15T15:15:00.000-04:002006-09-15T15:21:12.113-04:00

Susan has some helpful advice for the ladies about falling for guys with accents.Guys, in general, don't have this problem. Sure, a French accent on a girl might sound cute, but unless she's got a nice pair of boobs, it ain't going to do her any good.Where women get in trouble with accents, I think, is that--especially in the case of the European accents--there is this mistaken assumption of both

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1157482917566794482006-09-05T14:57:00.000-04:002006-09-05T15:01:57.650-04:00

I'll be reading from The Subway Chronicles this Thursday at Book Court on Court Street in Cobble Hill. Be there.What: Me. Reading. From Book.When: Thursday, Sept. 7. 8 p.m.Where: Book Court. 163 Court Street. Brooklyn, New York. Convenient to 2, 3, 4, 5, R and F Trains.

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1156961651897894722006-08-30T14:05:00.000-04:002006-08-30T14:14:11.946-04:00

You may think Battlestar Galactica has nothing to do with dating, but in my home it does. In fact, our anniversary is known as Battlestar Galactica Day ... and Susan doesn't even watch the show.At any rate. I need you guys to help me make a decision. In my hands, nestled in a snazzy leather bound folder complete with really big glossy photos of hot Cylons, I have the first four episodes of season

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1156880248856460282006-08-29T15:28:00.000-04:002006-08-29T15:37:28.870-04:00

People in couples often kind of miss their single days. People who are single often can't wait to be coupled with someone. But what's been striking me funny lately is this. Blogspot blogs have been around, by this point, for roughly 100 years. If you're trying to start a new blog, often the best names are taken, especially if the topic is a popular one.So when Susan wanted to start a blog about

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1156542349308880812006-08-25T17:25:00.000-04:002006-08-25T17:45:49.386-04:00

For whatever weird reason, a couple of us in the office were talking about using the phrase "the down low," when I was told there is a gay definition for this phrase--a very specific gay definition.The down low is when "men in heterosexual relationships have sex with other men unbeknownst to their wives or girlfriends." Even more specific I was told by a coworker, white gays usually reserve this

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1156523149742304162006-08-25T12:24:00.000-04:002006-08-25T12:25:49.813-04:00

A little gallows humor:Q: "So, what are you doing for Labor Day?"A: "Evacuating!"

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11399161.post-1156343266385532252006-08-23T10:11:00.000-04:002006-08-23T19:53:19.546-04:00

A guy like me, someone who has, as I like to tell the honeys who work in HR, a considerable "skill set," gets used to being gawked at while riding the mass transit system here in New York. Hey, it happens. A person sees an exemplary specimen of the human race walking amongst the common folk, it's hard not to look.But this morning, after the sideways glances and flirtatious flits of the eyelids

Ken Wheatonnoreply@blogger.com4