The Nondating Life

Friday, August 25, 2006

One for the Sisters: The Low Down on the Down Low

For whatever weird reason, a couple of us in the office were talking about using the phrase "the down low," when I was told there is a gay definition for this phrase--a very specific gay definition.

The down low is when "men in heterosexual relationships have sex with other men unbeknownst to their wives or girlfriends." Even more specific I was told by a coworker, white gays usually reserve this term for black men who sneak around. I found this sort of funny, but not nearly as funny as this post on that tells sisters how to handle a man they suspect of being on the down low.

I loved this line: "It is possible your husband or boyfriend is bisexual, gay or simply curious." Curious. Right. Curious to see if a big old penis tastes any different when sampled at 3 a.m. in Prospect Park.

Particularly useful and very dangerous tips on how to confront your man are included.

Pick a time when you both can be alone.
Let him know you are concerned about his current behavior (talking in male chat rooms, hinting towards a sexual attraction to men, etc.) and that you suspect he may be gay or bisexual.

Actually, considering how the average man would react when asked "Baby, why does your breath smell like semen all the time?", I'd suggest confronting him in a very public place, such as the steps of a police precinct.

Either way, read the whole thing.


  • funny you bring it up now, but i was watching a news special last night on the AIDS epidemic in american blacks and this term was brought up and explained. I had no idea, it meant that until last night. I wonder if the people in your office saw the same special and it was on their minds...

    By Blogger writersbloc gal, at 11:30 PM  

  • I'm not gay, but that guy who keeps sucking my cock, I suspect he's a total homo.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:36 PM  

  • I saw some coverage of this issue a year or two ago. It's kind of amazing how many people live secret lives, that are not even guessed at by their significant others.

    By Blogger Spill The Beans, at 3:51 PM  

  • On Slate, the author of that NY Times Mag story from a few years ago writes that married white men are using the term "down low," and blacks are pissed. They prefer whites use the term "in the closet."

    By Blogger Homesick Texan, at 4:53 PM  

  • See. Women still get shafted in the media. Married, "heterosexual" women who are on the DL get no respect.

    By Blogger westvillageidiot, at 10:15 AM  

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